Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
