Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
