WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
