your thong is hanging out like whoa
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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