I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I wish there were birth control emojis
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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