YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
