Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize