somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
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Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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