so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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