Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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