hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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