Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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