You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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