We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
