He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize