Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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