you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
