i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
