so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
