We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
