What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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