so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
