im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
