the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
