Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
