At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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