You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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