so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
