Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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