Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
