Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
