goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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