I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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