If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize