just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
