I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
