God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
there is puke in my bra ... again
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