I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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