Can Purell be used as lube?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
