I think I am morally bankrupt
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
