You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
