Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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