Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
