I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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