they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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