you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
