I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize