I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Please don't give away my fajitas
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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