is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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