she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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