it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
