I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
