Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
