He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
