i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize