i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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