Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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