how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
