You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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