her vagine was all disorganized.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
