I will die if light touches me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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